Quick: What’s the phone number for Empire Flooring? I’ll bet you know it, don’t you? I’ve been doing marketing for over 10 years and every year I tried to recreate our slogan, our theme, whatever. And here is this flooring company that’s used the same jingle for over 30 years and everyone knows it. Just more proof that I rarely know what the hell I’m doing.
I just began watching Big Bang Theory and the only thing I don’t understand is the broken elevator. Did they ever explain that? And why the police tape? I don’t actually find the show that funny, or funny at all for that matter, which just goes to show you that humans were never meant to have much time on their hands. Like all things, there needs to be a balance.
Actually, I wouldn’t have gotten into BBT if it wasn’t for the fact that TBS rams 12 episodes every Tuesday through Thursday down your throat. When did that trend happen? And how are they able to sell that to an advertiser? Do they really think people will just sit and which three hours of reruns of the same show day after day? Oh, wait…
I’d be remiss if I didn’t comment on the holiday season and our ritual of propping up the myth of Santa Claus to anyone young enough to still believe. I’m not a cynic, I just wonder if we do it more for the kids or for our own enjoyment of watching people believe in something amazing. Strangely the same people that enjoy watching children believe in Santa get annoyed with adults who believe in God. I guess since Santa has remained non-partisan he’s not the same threat.
So VH1 shows Nickelback as having the #1 album in the country. What? In the annals of Billboard’s system of tracking these sales, is this a cultural low? And where do you even buy albums anymore? Maybe that’s the problem. The only people buying albums are the people who haven’t figured out how to steal music off the internet. When will Billboard start to track that? The top illegal downloads of the week. And could we eventually have an awards show? I’m getting carried away.
The best thing about my break from the real world has been doing everything I ever wanted to do but always felt like I was too busy to do it. Just this month I did sales for an MLM company, learned how to waltz, fox trot and an assortment of other ballroom dances, completed Rosetta Stone Spanish and hired a professional MMA fighter to teach me self-defense. Next month I head to Nicaragua for a backpacking trip, then look to pull off the ultimate basketball weekend with one of my oldest friends as we try to see games at the Triangle’s Big Three venues.
It’s not that everything has come up roses. I’m still searching for what will be the next big thing for me. And while the self-defense lessons have been awesome, my throat is swollen from all of the choke holds and it hurts to breathe a little bit from a rib injury sustained yesterday. However, whenever I do return to an adult life at least I’ll have answered some of the questions I always felt too swamped with work to address.
I can’t decide if I’d enjoy being Kim Jong Un right now or not. Doesn’t seem like dad would be too hard of an act to follow, a few tweaks here or there and the country is in the best shape it’s ever been even if it still sucks. But he’s not even 30, so he might get belted around for awhile. Hard to say.
Happy Holidays everyone!